NOTE TO GOD

Several years ago, I faithfully prayed to you.  It happened @ Trappist Monastery with my officemates.  I asked your guidance for me to find a way out of a particular problem I was facing that time.  In return, I promised to visit the monastery every month in one year.  After a second, I received a text message.  It was an answer to my prayer.  It was not actually the solution but you delayed the process for me to find the way to solve it myself.  I said to myself, "Wow naman!  Ang lakas ng signal mo!"  (I actually am talking how powerful the prayer especially with strong faith.)  I fulfilled my promise to you.  I visited the monastery every month in one year.  In addition, I stopped having a sexual affair with a friend-with-benefits.  However, after 3 consecutive years I again committed mistakes.  I knew, you keep reminding me every time I do wrong.  I kept asking for forgiveness and several times I asked for a second chance.  I admitted my faults without regrets.  I have guilty factor instead.  Temptation is always around.  It is hard to be out of the dark space especially when you already mastered every corner.  Yet, I reached the point that I am not happy in that situation or arrangement.  I am not totally bad I know.  There are good things I do too.  But it is not enough to cover the whole part of me.  As of now, I am still struggling but I try my very best to do the right things.  I think all of these for a year.  Now I am asking you for the last chance.  You once showed to me and made me believe that you can hear prayers.  Though, you don't directly give the solution.  You always make a way.

Your birthday is near again.  I hope you will grant my wish and guide me in the right path.  To do only the right things and be a better person is actually a couple of priceless but worth gifts for you this year and onward.  I love you faithfully.  I am just stupid most of the time.