ILOILO PHOTO CARD

Iloilo is a province rich in historical and cultural attractions, home of the famous Dinagyang festival, stately mansions, majestic century-old churches, unspoiled countrysides and exotic delicacies.

I made this photo card as a souvenir. I will make more using my own taken photos of my city.

EMBROIDERY HOOP AND NEEDLES

EMBROIDERY HOOP- Hoops are used for embroaidery small motifs or make appliques.

 BODKIN- a large needle with a blunt point used for sewing knitted pieces together and for embroidery.

KINDS OF PAPER

I have a collection of papers. Most are speciality paper I sue for my paper craft, painting, personalized cards and other things related to arts. I even do origami and scrap booking.

The type, texture, finish, weight and color of paper affect suitability for each one form, so it is important to know which types of paper to use for different projects.

Paper can be categorized into 4 groups namely UNCOATED PAPERS, COATED PAPERS, HANDMADE PAPERS & SPECIALITY PAPERS.

Commercial uncoated papers are cover paper, bond paper, bristol, art paper, drawing paper, recycled, parchment, kraft, paste board and newsprint.

Commercial coated papers are art & printing paper and cover paper.

Handmade papers are handmade rag light, handmade rag heavy, chinese handmade and handmade with embedded objects.

Speciality papers are crepe, tissue, tracing, sugar paper, corrupted and rice paper.

MY EMBROIDERY

I learned embroidery from my eldest sister. In fact, this pattern is from her old collection that I still keep. Even I am always busy working, I took time to make one lately. This is the finished product err stuff.

MY PAPER COLLECTION

I really like papercraft.  In fact, I have a collection of specialty papers and boards.  They represent every shade of the imagination.

When shopping for supplies, I'm always stumbling upon appealing new textured and patterned papers.  New paper products appear in stores all the time.

MY ARTS AND CRAFT TOOLS AND MATERIALS

It's easy to get carried away with the overwhelming selection of tools available on craft stores.  To keep things simple, I tried to stick with the basics.  Here's my tool kit and I'll introduce one by one.

BALANCE

As a full time employee, I know firsthand the struggles many of you when it comes to finding a balance between work, family and your hobbies.  On rainy like these days, I just sit and do arts at home.  Then, I fully concentrate at work on weekdays.  I am always excited to spend the weekend with my family, friends and do my arts and craft projects!

DEDICATION

I created this blog not mainly for myself.  I dedicate it to all of you.


To my mother who first introduced me to the joy of sewing.  She taught me to sew on the Singer sewing machine.  I remember many happy childhood hours spent with her with fabric or needle.


To my father from whom I inherited my special skill in drawing.  I remember those times I summoned him to draw me a cat or a dog.


To my siblings who guided me to be a better straight person but I chose to be the real me after all.

To my nieces, nephews, grandchildren and so called son who continue to adore me.  I want to spend my adult years with them.

To my grade-school classmates who used to be my playmates. I remember those naughty times with the slogan, "When the cat is away, the mice will play."

To my high school classmates and friends whom I shared teenage life talking about crushes namely:  Althea,  Belle, Cyrille Kae, Emely, Harry, Jemuel, Lily Rose, Lloyd, Louela & Louelyn, Rhia, Robelyn, Rollymar, Ruby, Charito, Ernesto, Willie, Felixberto, Zary, and the rest who don't have Facebook account.

To my college friends who I shared the cramming moments and sharing notes with each other namely:  Audrey, Darwin, Jenneth, Jonna Mae, Nilo, Noel, Novill, Oliver, Renalie, Socsy, and to the rest I forgot to mention.

To my mentors who taught me the value of education.

To my office mates and colleagues who helped me and always willing to share everything about work namely:  Aye, Donna, Allan, Eleanor, Ernesto, Eroll, Jonalyn, Laila, Regine, Joseph, Bec-Bec, and to the rest.

To my personal friends who accepted the real me and always give me confidence and support namely, Marigold, Margie, Imee, Marilou, April,  Rommel, Melanie, John and those who wanted to be in private.

To my virtual-real friends who continue to inspire me online especially in blogging namely:  Kris Jasper, Fjordz, Edz, Mrs. T, Mel, Bry, Lawstude, DongHo, Loven, Mojo, Roselle, ZJ, Pepe, Recel, RJ, Anton, Mark, Jeanny, Sheng, Claire, Ron, Richard, Allen, Dennis, MF Dyanie, Rara, Reena, AG Boi, IFoundMe, Nance, Nicely, Marie, Mark Aethen, Ariel, Kris, Jeeper, Mama Gurl, AJ, Jurita, Lantaw, Nash, Nenen, Nomadicpinoy, Nuts, Pokw4ng,  Poot, RandomStudent,  Rej, Wait, Witsandnuts, and Renin.

To my postcrossing family, plurkers, facebook buddies, Mixed media Family and FSO Family who welcomed me to be a part of the group. 

And especially to YOU, the special person who created everything.  Without You, the blog journey stops here.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Special thanks to ZJ for recommending me the blogger-friendly web host.  Thanks to the online support of GoDaddy.com for the step by step web hosting guidelines.


My fellow bloggers who continued to encourage, inspire and support me in blogging.

And all others who, in one way or another, help me make the creation of this blog possible.

THIS BLOG'S MAIN & SPECIALIZED CATEGORIES

On the day I posted the link of my website on Facebook, I received some surprised reactions, personal attention, some calls, some SMS texts and comments of encouragement, understanding and support.  Those feedback made me realize that I will not talk only about personal experiences and life's lessons but also my passion in arts and photography.  I will blog about business and virtual views too.  I would love to talk about entertainment, foods & occasions as well.  These are the main categories of this blog.

I like fashion, styles, and trends; health and beauty; hobbies and collecting and travel.  I will write these specialized categories on this blog sometimes.

THIS IS THE STORY OF MY GAY, GAY LIFE

I experienced culture shock from the province to city life.  The environment was quite different and the people's lifestyle too.  I continued to hide myself, the real me but it was so obvious.  I was bullied in school- mostly my boy classmates and even my freshman adviser.  I don't want to go into details.  For 4 years in high school, I never enter the male restroom.

I was more close with girls until college.  When I thought about it, friends, that's what girls were to me really.  They were caring and nurturing- qualities I wanted to develop in myself.  I used to like girls who fit the mother image.  They've since become like sisters to me.

I graduated in college and got my first job for only 22 days.  Then, I transferred in another company permanently and that's my job until now. That's the time also I accepted what I am and admitted it before Rustom Padilla and Ricky Martin did.  I explored the gay world and the "No Matter What" of Boyzone is ever my favorite song. I was just continuing to be myself.  I didn't start yo dress differently or make an effort to flaunt my new-found self.  being gay wasn't a role I had to take on, so why should i change costumes or put on a show?  Salamat na alng hindi ako natuluyan to be a parlor gay.  But even, still I can't judge those who are.  They're still gays, like me, and they're just as human as you and me.  it's not their obligation to change who they are.  It's society's obligation to change the way we view them.  Somehow, open-minded na ang mga tao ngayon.  Somehow, they accepted, appreciate and even admired gays at last.

Back then, I went home proud being who I am.  There was no big dramatic scene with my family wherein I sat them all down for my big confession.  I didn't feel the need to tell them I was gay  after all.  I didn't need to hear them say they accepted me.  Do i need them to tell me, they're straight?  of course not.  Being straight or gay doesn't define you as a person.  it's not what you are, it's what you do.  I didn't change or did anything bad in their eyes, so the way they treated me didn't change either.  I saw more respect and feel the understanding instead.  May power na kasi ako.  May pinatunayan...  But mom always reminds me, "Huwag ka palagi makipag-close sa bakla."  Ang biro ko namang sagot, "Eh, bakla ako."  pero when it comes to my brothers, tahimik lang ako.  Ayoko ko humantong sa away at mabugbog ako at masabunutan ko sila.  Joke lang.  May isang tao nga biniro ako, "Kukuha tayo ng pokpok para makatikim ka naman."Ang sagot ko naman,"Natikman ko na pareho.  Kaw ba nakatikim na ng lalaki?"  That's so gay or bakla!  In a perfect world, it would be a compliment, not a put down.  We would be considered normal.  Right now, we've conditioned ourselves to be proud of our difference, to think of it as being special.

I used to think homosexuality developed because of one's environment and one's influences while growing up, but now I believe people are born homosexual.  But if I were born again, I don't want to be a gay nor my son.  It's not that I hate myself gay and I hate gay people but I don't want to experience again and my so will struggle the same way i experienced.  it's happy to be gay but it's more happy to have a normal feeling.


P.S.  I came out in a reality being gay because I realized it's hard to fool other people, to fool girls and most of all, to fool myself.  As a compliment, hindi nga normal pero masaya keysa you are pretending the rest of your life.

THE SEXUAL SIGNS

Looking myself in front of the mirror, I've noticed some big changes.  I'm getting fat, wrinkles developed, countless grey hair- the sign of aging.

Looking back 27 years ago (I am 34 years old now), facing the mirror wearing a big bra, duster and 2 inch high heeled shoes- the signs of being a gay.  I was left alone at home that time.  All of the sudden, my brother arrived and he caught me in that embarrassing situation.  For the men in the family-my father and brothers, gay is not acceptable.  It was my mom who always known I was gay because we were together most of the times.

Born in the 70's and grew up in the 80's, gay was really a big deal.  It was shameful on the part of the family  members.  They were very conservative.  There was the added trauma of dealing with a judging society.  people who knew me insisted I had been in the closet because they always had suspected I was gay, as if i had simply been pretending not to be gay.  That was harsh.  I hid myself inside the room when we had visitors at home.  Judgmental people were practically calling me a liar to myself, and the worst kind, too, because I had been lying about who I was.  There was a time I even asked myself, "Is homosexuality a problem that needs to be solved, or a deadly illness that urgently needs to be cured?"

I went to the city after my Elementary graduation and pursued my studies in a private school.   I still brought the heavy luggage inside me.


to be continued....

MEET MY FAMILY

I am the youngest in the brood of eight.  I was born and grew up in the hamlet.  I was so close to nature.  I walked 5 kilometers from home to school and vice versa for six years.  I had an ordinary childhood but I am happy about it that every time I reminisce those times, it makes me smile.  My mom taught me to be contented and appreciate the things I have.  My father taught me to be friendly and thoughtful.  My parents raised me well.  No scolding even just a single pinch.

meet my family

UP NEXT:  THE HIGHLIGHTS IN MY LIFE

1.  When did I discover I am gay?

2.  Being a bullied high school boy

3.  My 3 relationships

13TH OF MARCH

On March 13, 1781, William Herschel discovered URANUS.  In France, the length of the workday for women and children was limited by law to 11 hours effective on March 13, 1900.  After 30 years, the news of the discovery of  Pluto was telegraphed to the Harvard College Observatory.  There was World War II in 1943, and exactly on March 13 of the same year, Japanese troops ended their assault on American forces at Hill 700 in Bougainville.  On March 13, 1969, Apollo 9 returned safely to earth after testing the Lunar Module.  After seven years, 3 American men who become popular were born.  James Dewees, a musician; Troy Hudson, a basketball player; and Danny Masterson, an actor.  On the other part of the globe, a simple guy was born at the same time.He was named REDLAN, the owner of this website.

MY LIFE'S JOURNEY

I am not good in oral communication instead I express my feelings and emotions through writing.  Personally, I seldom talk to people.  If I do, I just pay attention and listen all the time.  Moreover, I am a keen observer.

I kept a diary when I was in high school.  It was for my eyes alone but my sister happened to read it one day.  What ashamed!  I burnt it then.  I continued writing a journal and that time I used codes.  Then the internet was born.  I spent my online life keeping a blog in Downelink.  I revealed it all since my sister don't know how to use the computer.  Ha-ha.  I stopped writing and even deleted my account when I had a serious relationship.  But gay relationship don't last forever. There are some few though like 1, 2, 3. So, I preferred to remain single and I discovered blogging.  I didn't consider revealing my real life and secrets again until I found the biography of Piolo Pascual and Oprah Winfrey when I was scanning books at National Bookstore.  It inspired me to start this journal.

According to Thoureaus Journal Ten, "Is not the poet found to write his own biography?  Is there any other work for him but a good journal?  We do not wish to know about his imaginary hero but how he, the actual hero, lived from day to day."  Like what Og Mandino said, "I am neither a poet nor a hero but I have traveled a long and bumpy road."  Yes, we have our own stories to tell- both sad and happy.  I have my own different stories to share too.  I experienced a lot of things and learned lessons from them.  Experience has been a stern but excellent teacher.  I hope I can bring great joy, contentment and understanding to your life.  Come on along.  Maybe you will enjoy the trip.